Marriage and Society

In Sharon Hays’s, “From Rods to Reasoning”, Hays discusses four historical stages of development. “In late seventeenth and early eighteenth century New England we find no notion of childhood innocence, no protected place for children, no separate children’s toys and games (pg. 26).” Hays discusses that ‘obedience training’ was also a big factor in early New England. It was previously stated that, “The model of intensive mothering tells us that children are innocent and priceless, that their rearing should be carried out primarily by individual mothers and that it should be centered on the children’s needs, with methods that are informed by experts, labor intensive, and costly (pg.21).” Beside Puritan New England, Hays brings up Catholics. She states, “breaking the child’s will through physical punishment was not an absolute necessity since the child’s sin could be expunged through baptism and other sacraments (pg.28).” Hays goes onto say that “the development of a child’s conscience was thus grounded in moral affection (pg.32).”
When I think of my mother and my development, I think her intensity has enabled me to be socially developed and to understand how to create and react in relationships. I can say I have also seen this with my friend’s mothers because they were brought up in a similar way. The Catholic concept applies to me directly because I am Catholic and my parents do not believe in physical punishment of my brother and I.
Ann Crittenden’s, “The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World Is Still the Least Valued”, discuss mothers being devalued, particularly in the United States. “A mother’s work is not just invisible; it can be a handicap. Raising children may be the most important job in the world, but you can’t put it on resume (pg.3).” Crittenden goes onto say, “the devaluation of mothers’ work permeates virtually every major institution. Not only is care giving not rewarded, its is penalized (pg.4).” I believe Crittenden’s best point is that, “the United States is a society at war with itself (pg.5).” She also states that marriage is ‘still not an equal financial partnership (pg.6).’ A third point is that “government social policies don’t even define unpaid care of family dependents as work……for all of these reasons motherhood is the single biggest risk factor for poverty in old age (pg.7).”
I agree with the idea that today’s society is at war with itself and that motherhood is devalued. It is hard for women to move up in the working world and I believe it is save to say that many people overlook the duties and responsibilities of being a mother. Crittenden makes valid arguments that I agree with and feel society should listen.
Patricia Hill Collins’s “Black Women and Motherhood,” discusses two types of mothering Black women tend to do. The first is ‘Superstrong Black Mother’ “who praise’s Black women’s resiliency in a society that routinely paints them as bad mothers (pg. 174).” “The institution of Black motherhood consists of a series of constantly renegotiated relationships that African American women experience with one another, with Black children, with the larger African American community, and with self (pg. 176).” When talking about the subject of power, Collin’s comments, “Much of US Black women’s status within women-centered kin networks stems from their activist mothering as community other mothers (pg.192).”
Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas’s “Unmarried with Children”, discusses women, particularly those who are financially challenged, and raising a family. Edin states, “promoting marriage among the poor has become the new war on poverty…..and demographics still project more than seven in ten women who had a child outside a marriage will eventually wed someone (pg.17).” A girl interviewed, Jen, admitted that it was not ideal for her have a child out of wedlock but expressed that it would be possible to manage regardless the situation. “For the poor, marriage has become an exclusive goal – one they feel ought to be reserved for those who can support a ‘white picket fence’ lifestyle: a mortgage on a modest row home, a car and some furniture, some savings in the bank, and a enough money left over for a ‘decent’ wedding (pg.18).” “Given the economic challenges and often perilously low quality of romantic relationships among unmarried parents, poor women may be right to cautious about marriage (pg. 21).”
Society is encouraging getting married and completing degrees because there is a tax break for married couples. Effort is being made to banish poverty but I believe it is an up hill battle that will take a lot of time and effort from everyone. I believe young women should get married to ensure a little fit of finical security because of tax breaks and because you have two people trying to improve family life in stead of one.