Marriage and Society

In Sharon Hays’s, “From Rods to Reasoning”, Hays discusses four historical stages of development. “In late seventeenth and early eighteenth century New England we find no notion of childhood innocence, no protected place for children, no separate children’s toys and games (pg. 26).” Hays discusses that ‘obedience training’ was also a big factor in early New England. It was previously stated that, “The model of intensive mothering tells us that children are innocent and priceless, that their rearing should be carried out primarily by individual mothers and that it should be centered on the children’s needs, with methods that are informed by experts, labor intensive, and costly (pg.21).” Beside Puritan New England, Hays brings up Catholics. She states, “breaking the child’s will through physical punishment was not an absolute necessity since the child’s sin could be expunged through baptism and other sacraments (pg.28).” Hays goes onto say that “the development of a child’s conscience was thus grounded in moral affection (pg.32).”
When I think of my mother and my development, I think her intensity has enabled me to be socially developed and to understand how to create and react in relationships. I can say I have also seen this with my friend’s mothers because they were brought up in a similar way. The Catholic concept applies to me directly because I am Catholic and my parents do not believe in physical punishment of my brother and I.
Ann Crittenden’s, “The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World Is Still the Least Valued”, discuss mothers being devalued, particularly in the United States. “A mother’s work is not just invisible; it can be a handicap. Raising children may be the most important job in the world, but you can’t put it on resume (pg.3).” Crittenden goes onto say, “the devaluation of mothers’ work permeates virtually every major institution. Not only is care giving not rewarded, its is penalized (pg.4).” I believe Crittenden’s best point is that, “the United States is a society at war with itself (pg.5).” She also states that marriage is ‘still not an equal financial partnership (pg.6).’ A third point is that “government social policies don’t even define unpaid care of family dependents as work……for all of these reasons motherhood is the single biggest risk factor for poverty in old age (pg.7).”
I agree with the idea that today’s society is at war with itself and that motherhood is devalued. It is hard for women to move up in the working world and I believe it is save to say that many people overlook the duties and responsibilities of being a mother. Crittenden makes valid arguments that I agree with and feel society should listen.
Patricia Hill Collins’s “Black Women and Motherhood,” discusses two types of mothering Black women tend to do. The first is ‘Superstrong Black Mother’ “who praise’s Black women’s resiliency in a society that routinely paints them as bad mothers (pg. 174).” “The institution of Black motherhood consists of a series of constantly renegotiated relationships that African American women experience with one another, with Black children, with the larger African American community, and with self (pg. 176).” When talking about the subject of power, Collin’s comments, “Much of US Black women’s status within women-centered kin networks stems from their activist mothering as community other mothers (pg.192).”
Kathryn Edin and Maria Kefalas’s “Unmarried with Children”, discusses women, particularly those who are financially challenged, and raising a family. Edin states, “promoting marriage among the poor has become the new war on poverty…..and demographics still project more than seven in ten women who had a child outside a marriage will eventually wed someone (pg.17).” A girl interviewed, Jen, admitted that it was not ideal for her have a child out of wedlock but expressed that it would be possible to manage regardless the situation. “For the poor, marriage has become an exclusive goal – one they feel ought to be reserved for those who can support a ‘white picket fence’ lifestyle: a mortgage on a modest row home, a car and some furniture, some savings in the bank, and a enough money left over for a ‘decent’ wedding (pg.18).” “Given the economic challenges and often perilously low quality of romantic relationships among unmarried parents, poor women may be right to cautious about marriage (pg. 21).”
Society is encouraging getting married and completing degrees because there is a tax break for married couples. Effort is being made to banish poverty but I believe it is an up hill battle that will take a lot of time and effort from everyone. I believe young women should get married to ensure a little fit of finical security because of tax breaks and because you have two people trying to improve family life in stead of one.

The Family In-Depth

Chris Hafner-Eaton and Laurie K. Pearce’s article “Balancing Individual Freedoms and Protection of the Public Health” discusses the idea of midwifes. One of the reasons discussed about why some women prefer the assistance of a midwife is because today midwives express their new philosophy and “teach women how to give birth (pg.819).” It is also discussed that women have said they would of preferred a non-hospital birth but there was “no medical backup available (pg.814).” Personally, I believe child birth should take place in a hospital because if there are any complications, the tools and medicine is on hand. Also, with technology becoming more advanced, along with modern medicine, I believe child birth will become easier for women and will become less risky.
Lawrence Friedman’s article “Who are our Children? Adoption, Past, and Present,” talks about adoption and its development. It is stated in the article that parents “at one time, parental control over children continued as long as children lived (pg.273).” In 1851, the first adoption law was passed and eventually formal adoption was formed (pg. 273). “The changes in family life we have seen over the past century are relative changes (pg.273).” This thought lead to the idea that, “The government has no right to tell parents how to raise their children (pg.273).” And that this changed the purpose of formal adoptions.
Sharon Hays’s article, “Money and Morality," drives into the discussion of welfare. Conservative and liberal views of welfare differ. “The conservative critics of welfare offered the primary fuel for negative public sentiment. They accused welfare participants of being lazy, promiscuous, and pathologically dependent, and they argue that the welfare system encouraged those bad values (pg.12).” “Liberal scholars have agreed that there were problems in the old system and among the poor. They have argued that any problems of morality that existed among poor families were primarily the result, rather of economic hardship (pg.12).” TANF “established the absolute demand that mother’s participate in the full labor force (pg. 15).” “Mothers must be prepared to leave the home to find paying jobs that will support themselves and their children (pg.15).” When I think about the values of our society in relation to welfare, I think our values have shifted. It was once not expect for a woman to work to help support her family, her job was to take care of the home and the children. Today, I believe a woman is expected to carry her weight and help provide for the family financially. I do not see this as being a bad thing but simply as a change in society.
Block, Korteweg and Woodward also discuss poverty. A country such as Norway is remarkable because of how the government improves the lives of its citizens. It is difficult for countries such as Norway to understand poverty because it is not the same experience there as it is in the United States. Inflation and the economy as well as lack of jobs have contributed to poverty and its theories. Block, Korteweg and Woodward believe that the government cannot solve poverty. “True Compassion” is what the authors believe can help make the American Dream come true (pg.19).”
Clawson and Gerstel believe US child care could be approve if regulations and paperwork were stricter (pg. 34). The idea of ‘core programs’ would also assist in the improvement. Centers and after school programs regulated would be an extreme help (pg.35). I agree that child care needs to be improved. I also feel it is improving and soon the government will make stronger regulations.